Can you see how the beliefs in fear, powerlessness and control permeate this planet and have led many people to believe they are “right.” And with that righteousness, comes the belief that they have the correct answer for the rest of us. It becomes obvious that when people are grounded in fear (believing there to be some loss involved), they want to strike back in their attempt to feel safe once more and they begin creating drama.
Karen is an example of this type of behavior. She is an 80 year old neighbor of Mary’s who rescued a puppy and then could not tolerate his rambunctious behavior or provide him with consistent, suitable care. She had chosen to have him euthanized but Mary offered to rescue him, to live with her and her other animals. She told Karen that she could come over and walk the dog in the mornings as her form of exercise. It seemed like the perfect scenario until Mary left for vacation and gave instructions to her pet sitter (a friend also known by Karen) for the animals’ care. Part of her instructions included that Karen would not be walking the dog during her absence and she made that clear to Karen.
However, Karen attempted to interfere by harassing the pet sitter with notes on the door, repeated phone calls and threats that she would call animal control and report abuse. She was tremendously distraught that the pet sitter was following Mary’s instructions for care rather than hers. And, the pet sitter would not feed into Karen’s drama and made that quite obvious to her. That made Karen more irate because she thought she knew what was best and tried to enforce it. Karen’s interpretation of abuse was distorted. She became the bully. The animals were being looked after very well and appropriately.
Is the above an example of right or wrong? No. Rather, it illustrates how fear and the belief in powerlessness create much unneeded drama in our lives. Karen’s fear was that the dog was not being cared for properly according to her standards. Her belief in her powerlessness caused her to fight for what she wanted and that imposed control is the only way she can get what she wants.
When we release judgment and allow others to have their own truth and experiences, we can concentrate on our own lives. When we stop thinking we know what’s best for another, we free ourselves to focus on ourselves and our own behaviors. After all, the only control we ever have is controlling ourselves.